A North Carolina Christmas

Today is Christmas (Happy Birthday, Jesus). Heather and I had a good Christmas, and so did TaraBull.


Apparently, there is a tradition in North Carolina that on Christmas you have an "Oyster Roast," and Heather and I had the honor of being invited to one. Heather was overjoyed to finally shuck and eat oysters. Well the oysters weren't exactly roasted (they were steamed).


The oysters were then spread out on a table where we all gathered around to shuck and eat the slimy little buggers. Of course, Heather was knocking people over trying to get the best seat by the table. (Yes, he is wearing flip flops. The temperature was around 60 with just a light rain. We ate outside.)


And the finished product. (Notice the tiny little crab that crawled inside the oyster for a little shelter. Tough break.) Just a little shot of Tobasco Sauce and yum, yum. Heather and I had a race as to who could eat more. (Heather beat me by 15. Isn't that about how many inches of snow you got?)

In addition to oysters, the festive menu included smoked venison, pheasant, chicken wings, sausage, shrimp, and fried corn fritters. (Obviously, Heather had a very easy time finding lots to eat.)

We tried to order pizza when we got home, but apparently, for some odd reason, all the places were closed today. Go figure.

Until New Years

Merry X-mas

An Eerie Coincidence

So I was dinking around on the Internet the other night, burning away some long hours while Scott was at work (um, I can't seem to make it to the library during its quirky hours of operation). I stumbled across a website called Julian & Co. Hmmm....what's this?

It tore my heart out, yet again.

Thanksgiving

Last week Peri, Tom, Kelsee and McKenzie graced us with their presence for Thanksgiving, and we are sure glad they did. It was really nice to have a little taste of home. We had Thanksgiving at Janet & Dyion's house and there were about 25 people there (Janet's sister & family and Dyion's children & families), so it was really important for Heather (me too) to have her sister here. Thanks Peri. But the absolute best part was that the temperature was in the 70's and for the first time, I (we) got to have Thanksgiving dinner outside.

While they were here, we did some of the typical tourist things (like going to Southport). In Southport, there is a Christmas Store (of course called "The Christmas Store"). As we were heading into the store, we saw this Santa and his elf. Now we know why Santa is always so jolly. (Of course the elf wasn't turned this way originally, but Tom made me do it. He is such a bad influence on me).

(Sorry Mom)

By the way, I have a new blog. Its called "The Weekly Rant." It's a place for me to vent all of my many frustrations. Check it out. simonsweeklyrant.blogspot.com

This weekend, we finally got the rings we ordered two months ago! We both wanted remembrance rings for Julian, so we picked out a stone that is the softest baby blue that we could find. The rings are white gold and the stone is Larimar--and we were able to have Julian's name inscribed on them.

It took us so long to get the rings because the stone is kind of hard to get. It's just now beginning to be used in jewelry, and is most often found in cruise ship gift shops because of its blue ocean color. Also, the only place in the world that the stone can be mined is on a small island in the Dominican Republic. Larimar was discovered in 1974 by Norman Rilling (a US Peace Corps volunteer) who gave it its name by combining the first part of his daughter's name, Larissa, and mar, the Spanish word for Sea. Its metaphysical properties are supposedly that it helps people remove restrictions they impose on themselves, helps them discover the deeper meaning of why they are here and most importantly (for us) the Larimar stone is supposed to bring you peace. But truthfully the reason we choose this stone is the beautiful baby blue color...the perfect representation of our beautiful baby boy.

Road Trip

This weekend Heather decided to get me up very early (about noon) because she wanted to go on a road trip. Well...after 6 pots of coffee and some time trying to figure out where to go we finally decided on a Mum festival. (We were not sure if they meant the flowers or mummers). So off we went to New Bern, NC (a town about the size of Wilmington) about 2 hours northwest of us. On the way I saw this cool building so I thought I'd take a picture of it.

An hour or two into out "trip" we came across a festival in the very small town of Faison. (Faison's version of Wal-Mart.)

I'm not sure what kind of festival it was or what it was for, But they did have the North Carolina, small town version of a rock concert...Enjoy.

Finally we get to New Bern and are looking forward to the Mum Fest. Unfortunately the weather was a little under itself so it looks like we were the ONLY ones looking forward to it.

So, after getting rained on a little, we thought we would go look for the mysterious Mums. Well we found them...

Dad, this photo is just for you. It is a small collapsible, one seat, rear propeller plane that does not require a pilot's licence to fly. Ahhh, to dream.

In closing, you can add this festival to one our Love-It, Hate-It NC lists, (pick one).

Things We Love About the N.C.

Guess what? We have lived in the NC for an entire year now. Can you believe it? Early on we did a post about the things we hate about NC, so we thought we’d do an anniversary post about the things we love about our new home.

1) The beach. The beach. The beach!

2) My mother, who cooks us dinner every Sunday. It’s hands down the best meal Scott gets all week.

3) The thunderstorms, which are frequent and violent and can last for hours. (Scott wanted to make a joke here about my PMS, but I don’t think that’s very funny.)

4) Our vote, which actually counts, because NC is considered a swing state. Unlike in Utah, where voting is as effective as pissing in the wind. Not that I know anything about that.

5) Political television ads, which are (unintentionally) hilarious. Senator Elizabeth Dole calls her current rival “fibber Kay Hagen” and has also referred to her as a “yapping dog.” It’s great fun.

6) Our little house. No upstairs neighbors, no downstairs neighbors…ah, the quiet! And windows! And a yard for Tara Bull to pee on!

7) Scott’s job, which is a tremendous opportunity for him. And he actually enjoys it. (He watches people sleep…creepy!)

8) Pig pickin’s. What’s a pig pickin’ you ask? It’s basically a Southern pot luck featuring an entire barbequed pig. (Scott forced me to include this. There’s nothing about pig pickin’s that I like. At all. North Carolina bbq sauce is 90 percent vinegar with, perhaps, a little bit of tobasco sauce tossed in. And the side dishes? Cole slaw and potato salad: blech. Collards: double blech. There’s nothing about pig pickin’s that I like. Except Pig Pickin’ Cake, but that goes without saying.)

9) The central East-coast location—we’re six hours away from Washington D.C., maybe eight hours from New York City, and a good day’s drive from Florida. Not that we’ve been to any of these places.

10) The yearly possibility of widespread natural destruction. Okay, Tropical Storm Hanna turned out to be a bust…but there’s always next year!

Hello, my name is Heather

And I’m a sugar addict.

For dinner tonight, I had French toast drizzled with hot fudge topping and finished with a big dollop of whip cream. It was de-li-cious. I can’t recommend it enough. (Add sliced bananas or strawberries if you insist on non-empty calories in your dinner).

This is by no means the only time I’ve eaten dessert for a meal. Just last Friday I ate a big chocolate-chip cookie for lunch. (But I didn’t eat anything else…so my total calorie intake was okay, right?) It’s not like there was a plate of cookies in the office kitchen that some evil co-worker had brought to torment me with. No, I actually got in my car and drove a mile and a half to Great Harvest to purchase said cookie, all the while distracting myself with thoughts of all the work I had to get done that day so I wouldn’t think too clearly about the fact that I was going to eat a COOKIE for lunch.

And it’s not that I didn’t bring a lunch. I had a respectable peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread, an apple, and some string cheese stashed in my desk drawer. I ate none of it. I ate a cookie.

And even though I had chocolate-slathered French toast for dinner, I will eat more sugar before the night is over. I’ll resist it for a while, but eventually I’ll go on the prowl for my next fix. Nothing major—not a piece of cake or bowl of ice cream—but maybe just a Jolly Rancher, a finger in the hot fudge jar, or a small piece of the peanut brittle Scott has hidden in the freezer (shhh, don’t tell!)

Regardless, there will be sugar in my mouth very soon.

Sure, I could give up sugar for a day. With effort, for a week or two. But forever? For the rest of my entire life? Nope. Not a freaking chance.

I know this doesn’t compare AT ALL to Scott’s effort to quit smoking. But that’s the point—no matter how difficult it would be for me to give up sugar, or diet coke, or new shoes, it is ten times harder for him to quit smoking.

So as Scott embarks on this new struggle to quit smoking cigarettes, he has my love, my compassion, and yes—of course—my patience.

(Now wasn’t I saying something about peanut brittle…)

No Butts About It

What is this a photo of? Is it obvious? Do you think you know? Give up?

Its my lungs. Nasty huh.

Yes, yes, due to certain events in the recent past, I started smoking again. Well, it's time to quit (again), but this time I have a little help.

Studies have shown that people have been more successful quitting with Chantix (44%) than with Wellbutrin (29%), and the relapse rate of quitting "cold-turkey" is 86%. I started taking it last week so my offical "quit date" is this Wedensday morning, the 24th.

The only downside is my health insurance (in their infinite wisdom) would rather wait until I have lung cancer and pay thousands of dollars for chemo than pay the $120 a month for a 3-month prescription. So I'm stuck with the bill, but I think it will be worth it.

The reason I'm telling everyone this is that is says to in my "quit smoking plan." I know, I know, you've heard it all before, but I'm determined that this will be the last time.

Wish me luck . (And wish patience for Heather -- she's going to need it.)

Nature: Red in Tooth and Nail

A single shingle lies in the grass . . . victim of the terrible destruction of Tropical Storm Hanna. The storm brutalized the Carolina coastline without mercy, leaving handfuls of twigs and foliage in her path. Residents fear that Hanna has created nones of millions of dollars of damage.

Schools closed Friday and government offices shut down early in the afternoon. Local businesses shuttered up and sent employees home early (except mine -- the bastards!) The homeless were moved from the homeless shelter into the storm shelter, and the pet-friendly shelter filled up with one dog and one cat, (seriously, not joking). All of these precautions proved wise, as cruel Hanna dropped an inch of rain across the region over a 12-hour period.

Newcasters from The Weather Channel bravely rode out the storm, broadcasting live from devastated North Carolina beaches. The wind tugged fitfully at their parkas as area residents walked their dogs and rode their bikes in the background.

This morning, Carolinians can do nothing more than sadly assess the damage and find ways to move on with their lives.

Hurricane Hanna

For those of you that don't know or aren't sure... we are about to be hit by hurricane Hanna. (Right now it is a tropical storm but it's supposed to pick up speed and become a Hurricane before it makes landfall.) It is supposed to come right over Wilmington. it will hit us at about 1 am, Saturday. And yes, we are excited.

More news to follow...............

Julian's DVD

Yes, We do have Julian's DVD. In fact, when we got it, you could only see the slideshow on a computer, (you still have to use a computer to see the pictures, which are the same as the slide show) but when Jon and Darby were here, Darby did her Voodoo and now you can just pop it into the DVD player. (thanks Darby)

Soooo... if you want a copy of the DVD please comment and tell me so I know how many copies to make and send; On the other hand if you only what me to e-mail you the photos (not the slideshow) then tell me that. What ever your choice, I'll try to get it out as soon as I can.

It's Been Awhile

Yes, Yes... Its been awhile since I have updated the blog so here is something new...

It has been almost 4 months exactly since Julian died. So I thought I would share a little bit of information with you... According to the World Health Organization there are over 4 million stillbirths every year world wide, and according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), office of vital statistics, each year over 25,000 babies are stillborn in the U.S. (about 1 in every 100 births) That is an average of 70 a day, almost ten times as many deaths as occurs from SIDS.

According to the U.S. National Institutes of Health, between 1997 and 2001, the United States awarded $50 million in research grants for SIDS research (about $3,900 per affected child) but by contrast, that same government has awarded $442,000 (in the same time period) for stillborn research (about $3.32 per affected child). That not even enough to buy a decent Hallmark card. Soooo... In the "greatest nation", where we focus on the importance of children, our "leaders" are unwilling to give more than the cost of a damn cup of Starbucks coffee to simply learn why so many children are dying. (if they were all dying in bus crashes you could be damn sure they'd do something about it). Now don't get me wrong, I don't think any money should be taken from other research projects like SIDS, Autism, or birth defects. I simply think there should be at least somewhat of an equal piece if the pie. Perhaps a little less money given to Fanny Mae or Freddy Mac. (or funneled into Saudi Arabia for oil) That's all, not much.

Anyway...

If these numbers pissed you off even a fraction of how much they pissed me off, then call or e-mail your congressman. Don't ask them to give more money (their too busy spending it on killing other children 12,000 miles away) simply ask them what the hell their problem is. (and then vote for the "the other guy")

Thanks for letting me vent.

(Don't worry, I'm not angry or anything. ;)

Jon and Darby's Visit

I would like to thank Jon and Darby for coming out to see us. I know it really was a bit out of the way, but it was really good to see them. Everything was closed (the mansion, the Cotton Exchange). Everything except the beach, but I had a good time just talking to them and getting to know my little brother better. Anyway, I wish we had more time together. (Of course at around 2700 miles away, I'll take what I can get).

And once again...Thanks for the DVD Darby, you rock!

Bye Bye R*d Cr*ss

Friday was (finally) my last day at the pictured organization. (I'm avoiding names to hopefully stay undetected by search engines.) I was a temp here for nearly a year, and while I'm thrilled to have a full-time, not temporary job, it was bittersweet to say good-bye to all the people I'd worked with for so long. Bye bye ARC!

My new job is for a certain fundraising organization that I have also worked for in Salt Lake City. I'm going to be the office manager for this organization. I'll supposedly have some marketing duties as well. I started part time last week, and everyone seems really nice!

I'm most excited to have a full-time paycheck again. (Scott too.) I can finally buy a new bra! And new walking shoes! And new tires for my car!

Tropical Storm Cristobal

Yes, Yes, Its hurricane season here in the wonderful South and for those of you watching the weather here you may have noticed that we have had our first tropical storm of the season. The news here in Wilmington was reporting expected winds of up to 40 -45 mph and HEAVY rain for at lest 12 hours. Well.... it rained pretty heavy for about 4 hours and there was barely enough wind to blow out a candle. We were very disappointed. Hopefully we will have better luck with the next one.

NC Bugs

One thing the South is famous for (or at least should be) is its insects...cockroaches as large as small cats, mosquitoes that can drain a man dry in 3 seconds, crickets as loud as F-16 taking off, and dragonflies just slightly smaller than a Boeing 747.

Speaking of dragonflies, I snapped this picture of a bug I have never seen. I think it's a dragonfly because it has 4 wings, but each wing looks like a single thin wire with a small black flag on the end it. I can't figure out how it can even fly (but it does). If anyone has any idea what it is I'd love to know.

Cool, huh.

Bates Family Vacation

We were really glad that Bob, Jenny, and family came to the NC for their family vacation. We all had a great time. We ate at some really good restaurants, visited alot of all the typical tourist spots, but spent most of the time at the beach, (as you can see). Thanks B & J it was great seeing you again.

Austin's quite the little surfer.

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Standing on daddy's testies.

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Taking a break (its really not cold)
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That's about as far as Jenny went into the water. (Jenny's going to want to kill me for posting this picture but haha shes 2700 miles away)

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My determination to throw Heather into the ocean (the only reason I didn't was I didn't want to ruin my camera, not to mention the beating that Heather would have given me had I actually tossed her in)

Returning Home

Well...here we are. We just got back to NC last night (after some confusion at the airport, damn airlines). We are glad to be back in NC, but its just not "home".

We both had a very good time, so thank you to everyone. A special thanks to Bob & Jen...Thanks for letting us freeload off you for almost 2 weeks.

Here are a few photos of our trip......... (click for a better view)Jenny, Austin, Megan & Miss at the pool party.

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Chayden & Miss (what a little lifeguard)

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Heather's Family (most of them), Top row (left to right) - Jenny, Bob, Heather, Me, Peri, Tom, Laura, and Jason. Middle - Don. Bottom row (left to right) - Matthew, Austin, Miranda

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Heather and I in Moms sweet MG.

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Me, Heather and Grandma

Turtles

In the last post, Laura commented about the turtles that roam around. Here you go...

There were about 5 more turtles on this log but they jumped off just before I took the pictures. (Above)

A Few Photos

Heather and I went to the beach the other day after a big storm and there where these things all over the beach. We thought they looked like jelly fish but they wern't very gelatinous so i took a few photos and looked them up on the internet when we got home. They are Cannonball Jelly Fish. They are a little larger the a softball and their poison is used to treat rheumatoid arthritis. Creepy.

I took this at a local BBQ resturant. Thats right, scripture right on the side of the bottle. We really are in the south.

Mom's North Carolina Dinner

Once again, I would like to say how important is was for us to have mom come out here to be with us. With that said, I would like you to see what mom had to eat while she was out here. If she had her cholesterol checked when she got back it was probably more that the national debt. Now you can see why...

There are fried pickles, french fries, fried chicken strips, fried green tomatoes, fried okra, fried hushpuppies, fried scallops, and fried flounder. Can you guess what is what?
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Welcome to the South.

Julian's Marker

Once again, I would like to thank everyone for their immeasurable generosity. With the money you all graciously gave to Julian we were able to completely pay for his funeral and have enough left over to get this marker. Through our loss and the compassion everyone has shown us; I have really come to know the appreciation I have for our families and friends. I love you all very much.

A Fathers Grief

For those of you following our blog; you may have also been following Heather’s pregnancy. Well… for those of you than may not know, for reasons unknown, we lost our beautiful baby boy. Julian passed away just hours before he was born. He was born at 6:19pm on April 21, 2008; he was 6 pounds and 8 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was the most perfect and magnificent baby I have ever seen. He had Heathers chin and the same fat cheeks that all the Stewart kids had. He also had my short, fat fingers, common in the Ashworth family (thanks Grandpa) and unlucky for Heather, he also had my enormous head (that was full of black hair from both families).

Soon after we were told about what was to become out darkest day, in a deepening depression, I started thinking about how I had almost become a father and about how I had almost had a son. As I descended deeper into my misery I started to call my family. I called by baby sister Laura (who has two beautiful children of her own) to tell her what had happened. Not long after telling her, she said something that quite literally changed my perspective, in fact, what she said changed my life. She said, in her simple and innocent way “He will forever be your son.” It was at that moment that I realized she was right; I hadn’t almost become a father, I had become a father. I didn’t almost have a son, I did have a son. Regardless of how things turned out I am a father and nobody can take that away from me. This realization was like a small light in a very dark time. I can’t thank you enough, Laura. Your words helped me more than I could ever express. Thank you again. I love you very much.

I also want to thank my other little sister Megan. Every time I talk to her she has never referred to my son as “the baby”. She always calls him Julian, and every time she does I know my son was real person, and that means a tremendous amount to me. Thank you Megan, from me heart of hearts, thank you.

There is one more person I need to thank publicly. Bob. (There are many, many, other people to thank but I need to thank them privately.) Bob has been my best friend for about 10 years now. Bob is a mans man, crude and rude with a twisted sense of humor and was able to make me laugh (at least smile) at times when I never again thought I would. Thank you Bob. (I know it’s not manly but your friendship means the world to me. I love you, dude)

I also want to express my deep appreciation to the national organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/) who, for no charge, sent professional photographers to the hospital to take tasteful, tender, gentle and beautiful photographs of our precious baby boy. No words can express the gratitude I have for these people and this organization. It may be a while before I can look at the photos but there is no doubt in my mind that what they have done for my family will help us to heal. So please, if you are looking for a charity to donate to you would be hard pressed to find a better one that this.

Let me finally just say to anyone reading this, if you’re a parent, the next time you give your child his goodnight kiss; kiss him one more time. The next time you give him a hug; hold him for just a few seconds longer and squeeze him just a little tighter. The next time he draws on your nice tan couch with a big red crayon or screams at the top of his lungs while your on the phone long distance or the next time he stares you down with those big blue eyes and with that defiant tone in his voice says “NO” or the next time your child starts to drive you to pull your hair out with that incessant none -stop chatter and the “Why? Why? Why?” Take it easy, Just look at them and smile and understand that there are people out there (and I am one) that would gladly give their lives even sell their souls for just one chance, just one opportunity to experience that wonderful, delightful aggravation that only your own child can give you.

Thank you for your love, thoughts and prayers. Knowing that you’re with us, in this, the darkest of dark times truly, truly helps.

The proud father forever,
Scott

Really Big Rats

We have a few stray cats at our office on Military Cutoff and a few of the techs always set ot food for them. The other day I was working with one of those techs and about an hour after she set out the food, I looked at the CCTV (security camera) and say something that didn't quite look like any of the stray cats. I went to take a look and this is what I saw.

I see them as road kill out here in Leland all the time. This is the only live possum that I've seen. quite literally these are just very large rats (want one Chayden?) I thought you would enjoy the photos.

The 2008 Azalea Festival

Here are some photos of Wilmington, NC's famous Azalea Festival. Please take note of the complete and utter lack of Azaleas. in addition to the tacky art work (see below) there was a whole street (about 4 blocks) of nothing but fried food (funnel cakes, turkey legs, okra and other veggies, and about anything else you can stick in a deep fryer) and 5 dollar lemonades.

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Wilmington in Bloom

Our yard is bursting with flowers, flowering bushes, and flowering trees. The entire Cape Fear region is quite a sight. Scott took these beautiful photos. The flowers below are wisteria. It grows as a vine up into trees. The roads are lined with extremely tall pine trees that have wisteria winding all the way up.


Below is some sort of flowering tree in our yard. We don't know what it is, but we also have a plum tree and a peach tree (both in bloom), and a few dogwood trees that are entirely covered in white blossoms.

More azaleas. You can see that they come in a variety of colors from white to almost purple. The azalea bushes completely encircle our back yard, and they are also planted in front of our house and along the drive. Our landlord keeps these bushes trimmed very tightly. Most of the older houses in the downtown area let them grow almost wild -- they are just big, bushy mounds of flowers. Just about every house in the area has them, so flowers are everywhere right now.