Stillbirth and Grief Study

Mothers of Stillborn Babies

Be a part of an important grief study:

• Are you the mother of a stillborn baby? (Pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks gestation)
• Are you over 18 years of age?
• Are you willing to participate in an in-depth interview?

If you answered yes to these questions, you may be eligible to participate in this study.

The purpose of this study is to gain an understanding of the experience of stillbirth and grief. Participants will receive a small gift.

If you are interested in participating, please email Heather: heatherdawn777 (at) gmail dot com.

Motherless

Three years ago, three weeks before Mother’s Day, my mother stood by my side and held my hand, tightly, as I gave birth to Julian. She and Scott counted together, “one, two, three, four…” as I pushed. It was a moment of pain, of grief, of love—and I wouldn’t give up that memory for anything.

I am overwhelmed with unexpected grief today for my mother. I miss her. I need her comforting presence by my side—a presence I all too often took for granted.

I am also tremendously grateful, today, for all the things she gave to me. A love of books and language. A curiosity about the world that fuels a need to keep learning and expanding my horizons. A love of baking (and eating) sweet treats: thanks, Mom.

Mom also taught me about forgiveness and reconciliation. I always knew her forgiveness was real—because her anger and disappointment was so real. All of my siblings who encountered that quiet anger—the narrowed eyes and small, twitching muscle in her cheek—know what I’m talking about. But once she forgave a mistake, she never mentioned it again.

I truly believe she simply put our mistakes and our many flaws out of her mind and only thought of us as our best possible selves. She made me want to be the person she thought I was.

Thanks, Mom, for reading me bedtime stories every night, for introducing me to cream puffs, for teaching me to say, “I’m sorry,” and for teaching me how to be a mother.